Keep New York Dirty

In between divorcing women and dressing like them, the iron-fisted Rudy Giuliani cleaned up NYC, ripping out its porn-pumping heart like he was that guy in Temple of Doom. Signify your latent displeasure with a Keep New York Dirty tee shirt. KNYDs were designed for nostalgic New Yorkers whose favorite champagne room is now a six-top at Applebee's (and for those who like to think they'd have paid for sex in '94, if they hadn't been 12 at the time). Each of the six shirts sports a slogan of the imminent dirty revolution, e.g., "Keep New York Sleazy" and "New York Kink" -- featuring a high-heeled set of leggy mammaries, it'll finally allow you to scold women with the phrase "I'm up here". All the shirts are made from 100% hooker's-moral-fiber-soft pima cotton woven in Japan, whose own urban centers' similarity to the current Times Square ends with vending machines that sell worn teenagers' panties. Because dirtiness doesn't exclude charity, 10% of the proceeds go to promote NYC youth arts programs -- though for a more hands-on approach to dirtification, just buy your local street toughs an armload of spray-paints and threaten to jam your fingers through their ribcages if they don't tag the Disney Store with "Kali Ma!"