Porn Academy

The next best thing to starring in a porno is directing one, but even that's tough to do as an amateur -- especially if your girlfriend won't even take her socks off for your art. But if you've got a camera (video or still), you can learn to call the money shots like a pro at "The Porn Academy"

On June 3rd and 4th, one of the Czech Republic's leading production companies is inviting armchair cinematographers to film and photograph European adult stars doing what they do best: acting. Students will be picked up at their hotel each morning and driven to a country club-like location in the middle of Prague, replete with swimming pools, tennis courts, and dozens of surgically enhanced vixens having expertly choreographed sex. The package also includes:

  • Daily workshops, demonstrations, and interactions with directors and actors, who'll teach you such skills as capturing accurate poses on film, and how to hold the camera steady with an enormous erection.
  • Meetings with adult film agents, who'll give you tips on recruiting naïve young starlets looking to kick-start their careers in "show business."
  • An invite to the weekend-capping party, where you'll drink far too much, then experience the ecstasy of getting rejected by a woman who just spent the whole day banging four dudes in a Jacuzzi.

Any footage you shoot is yours to keep, so at the very least you're guaranteed the most exciting vacation footage you'll ever force on your friends. Airfare and hotel are separate, but that shouldn't stop you: you've been meaning to check out Prague anyway.