Kitchen Delight

The ideal late-night takeout chow should be better than fast food, while still packing enough unhealthiness to kill you just as quickly. Now bringing that combo to Williamsburg: Kitchen Delight.

Open 'til 5am Thu-Sat and only a block from the Bedford L train, KD's perfectly situated to pad the asses of both Brooklynites and homebound Manhattanites who now find even Ridge Street too corporate for their bar-hopping. The menu's loaded with everything you're too drunk to know you don't need: made-to-order burgers/mini-burgers, hot dogs, cheesesteaks, hot pastrami sandwiches, and pastrami poppers (the Jewish fulfillment of every immigrants' dream -- having their signature meat used in a slider). For a couple bucks, any of these can be converted into a meal that includes fries and a coke, or, if you're an idiot, salad and bottled water. Cap things off with a black-and-white shake, and you're ready to crawl into bed, roll onto your back, and promptly pass out after realizing you're really in no shape to masturbate.

If you can't wait for home/the subway, KD does have a few tables, where you can grub while marveling how remarkably similar KD's décor is to Pop Burger's -- solid evidence that, at some point, the owners got hammered in the Meatpacking, then gorged themselves on tiny-bunned, made-to-order meatwiches before passing out on the L.