Any number of hat styles can warm up your blueing noggin this fall -- but how to choose, when only people in their Colostomy Years can tell a trilby from a tam o'shanter? Navigate the muddled gauntlet of headwear with Peter Grimm Hats. Seventeen years after selling his first wide-brimmer on a SoCal beach, PG's line has ballooned to over 300 designs, each of which is lovingly crafted, then stared down and dubbed with a name so fitting, Jiggles McFatty's mom would nod in solemn approval. Most of the options sport relatively classic looks, like the striped black "Royce" driver cap and the head-perching "Balboa" fedora -- which'll make you look jaunty even if your fists reek of meat and Carl Weathers. Not looking for a silent-movie prop? Try more modern options like the weather-beaten, bare-bones-brown "Baghdad" and the sun-defying "Resorts" models, subdivided into monikers that best describe your golf game, whether it's "Jack", "Byron", or a manslaughter-presaging "Fore".
Sometimes Peter does miss, and handicaps great hats with bum tags, like "Ryan's Grandparents" -- a teal porkpie beauty which, judging from its name alone, is only fit for you to poop in.