If there's one thing that's manly, it's the concept of rugged utility. If there are two things that're manly, they're utility, and wearing skirts. Max out with Utilikilts. Spawned in America's Kilt Cradle (Seattle), Utilikilts bring functionality to the timeless "Men's Unbifurcated Garment" by conferring on them so many pockets, their pockets have pockets. Four of the six models sport capacious external cargoes -- the Survival and its detachable side-saddles accommodate a tough-to-fathom 20 beers, enough for anyone who's not actually Scottish. The Dockers-deriding Mocker's extra-deep internals fall freely when you sit, as the only more thing embarrassing than spilling change out of your kilt pockets is...well, wearing a kilt. Not available now but making a comeback soon: the wedding-compliant, shiny-striped Tuxedo -- formal wear worthy of the debonair Hamish McBond. One feature that should be on all models but isn't: the Survival's Modesty Closure System, which snaps the front to the back, ensuring that as you sit down to receive that final dress code violation warning, at least three of your inadequacies will remain ruggedly concealed.