EdgeStar Dishwasher

Even guys who subsist on takeout can quickly amass a pile of dishes fetid enough to spawn a new and terrifying strain of "Talking Chlamydia" -- but many NYC apartments are barely big enough for a microwave, much less a dishwasher. The solution's to go tiny, with the EdgeStar. Only 17.5" tall, the Edge'll fit right under your kitchen cabinet, on the just-under-two-feet of counter space currently supporting 6 months worth of unopened bills. The stainless steel box can swallow four place settings -- plates, glasses, silverware -- so while it's small, you won't have to run a load every time you stub out a KOOL in a ketchup-smeared saucer. Water temp reaches a grease-melting 158 degrees, and as for consumption, the makers claim their product uses less water than if you washed by hand (a nebulous comparison, since you never wash, period). If you do opt for the Edge, your set-up'll be nothing: just attach the 5ft hose to your sink, and you're done. Even if you never use the thing, at least you can stash your ersatz Petri dishes in it, muffling the hurtful jeers of your Chlamydia.