Cruzin Cooler

Just in time for the outdoor party season, here comes the Cruzin Cooler: half Igloo, half motorized scooter, all booze-carting business. The CC's a squat, 18-inch tall cooler with wheels, capable of holding a full case of beer and 16lbs of ice. You can opt for either a gas or electric model, depending upon outdoor or indoor usage. Both have ranges of about 30 miles and top out around 13 mph -- so you can experience Rascal-like riding excitement without the inconvenience of a hip replacement. Also, consider these add-ons to complete your mobile cooler experience:Portable locks: Keeps the CC safe from envious suckers stuck carrying their beer, or kleptomaniac senior citizens.Detachable seat: A day spent straddling a cooler wreaks havoc on even the fattest ass. This soft plastic cushion with a chair-back adds comfort, especially during spine-compacting cobblestone beer runs.Trailer option: Some CC models come with a hitch to attach an additional cooler. Fill it with more booze, or take the lid off and bring your pet dog or dwarf buddy along for the ride.The CC requires some patience to assemble, so hold off consuming its eventual payload until you've put the thing together. Once operational, the standard model can haul a 250lb man (plus party supplies) without crapping out -- capacity you'll be thankful for, since there's nothing worse than pushing home a vehicle you bought specifically because you're too lazy to carry beer.