Food & Drink

Mandler's Sausage

You can do without certain bricks of the food pyramid -- vegetables, milk, etc -- but if you remove your nutritional base, you will collapse. As we all know, that base is sausage -- and now there's a new Mandler's location where you can fortify yourself with its goodness.

Mandler's Midtown is double the size of Mandler's Union Square, which for three years has served up delicious cased meat under the motto "Ours is 9 1/2" Long" (dramatically underselling their gourmet cred while overselling their Peter Northness). The new spot features similar staples, notably 11 bunned options -- from the familiar bratwurst to the pork-and-veal bockwurst, bane of PETA-Jews everywhere. Experimental offerings include gruyere-infused sausage fondue and the covertly delicious Andouille-in-a-Blanket, whose own motto is "What you can't see can't clog you". There's also a complimentary mustard bar with standouts like Horseradish and Vermont Maple -- because eating sausage without a condiment would be irresponsible

If you must partake of other food groups, grab the zucchini or cheese-stuffed corn fritters, both of which come with the veggie safely fried out of them. But forgo sausage entirely, and you'll not only enfeeble your body, you'll lose the right to call yourself a man...dler.