While it'll give you the body of a Greek god, devoting yourself to working out at the expense of everything else will leave you with the social life of a Greek shepherd whose cries for companionship aren't even met by his own sheep. But Equinox Fitness Clubs value a well-rounded existence, and to prove it they're inviting you to a night of gloves, steel, and scotch, on August 27.
This free, private evening session will introduce select guests to Equinox's innovatively punishing classes -- followed up with the sort of man-pampering rewards that serve as your chief reasons for ever getting
out of bed off the floor in the morning. The night starts with two workout options: old-school kettle bell action on the sun deck, or a shadowboxing class that'll teach you the skills you need to eventually change your name to "Marvelous", "Boom Boom", or "The Nigerian Nightmare". After that, you'll be treated to the three things that make life worth living: alcohol provided by the House of Dewars (a glass of premium scotch), people touching you (a professional massage), and people touching you with razor-sharp steel (a professional hot shave with Pacific Shaving Products).
Slots are limited, so RSVP now to attend. Sign up for a membership during the event and they'll even waive your membership fee, a $500+ value you can put towards another of life's essential pleasures -- spandex gym gear that makes your backside look fantastic. Or maybe just more scotch.