When you were a kid, even the crappiest pool was a wonderland -- but sadly, the appeal dimmed once you got over Marco Polo and pissing yourself. To revive your love of chlorine, book a Memorial Day room at Harrah's Atlantic City.
Harrah's is using our most patriotic three-day weekend to unveil what's thought to be the largest indoor pool in America. The pool's the centerpiece of an ongoing expansion, whose next phase includes a four-acre entertainment complex built around a 90-foot-domed "tropical oasis" (the implied desert being northern Jersey). The drink itself holds 86,000 gallons of heated water, spread out over an area measuring half a football field, or, in more familiar terms, the exact square footage of Rutgers University's School of Future Shore House Ownership. Naturally, there's a pool bar, plus 12 cabanas and seven Jacuzzis (or one for every woman who refuses to join you for a Jacuzzi). The pool area'll also host live music and movie screenings -- the only thing you have to leave for is the gambling, and not even that if you hire cabana boys for a round of Mortal Chicken Fight.
One final poolside amenity: a 23-room Elizabeth Arden spa, ideal if you've brought a woman, or are man enough to act like one. But you probably won't ever emerge from the water, especially once you realize how much pee 86,000 gallons can accommodate.