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Brandon Ortwein's Ultimate Rides

You remember your first car forever, from that time it helped you get laid, to that time it helped you not get laid, because you still drive it. Honoring his first ride by turning all others into it, Brandon Ortwein, with "It Would be Cooler as a Van"."Bortwein" is an ATX graphic designer whose first ride, a 1980s Dodge Ram w/ airbrushed lion wheel-cover, led him to transform a slew of his favorite TV and movie vehicles into illustrated passion-wagons, classy re-imaginations now available in prints, stretched canvases, iPhone/iPad cases, and laptop skins -- which, being of vans, are evocative of where much of your comp's skin is filmed. There are 26 different designs altogether, including: The Blues Brothers Cop Car: This megaphone-topped, black-n-white, getting-the-band-back-together-mobile is now roomy enough to fulfill a mission from God -- who knew the extra space would end up being for Dan Aykroyd and not John Belushi? The Titanic Sinks: Sometime during a delightful cruise of the asphalt ocean, this majestic passenger liner popped a flat, probably from the extra weight of the steam stacks; the tragic part is even now there's someone inside rearranging the captain's chairs.The Tron: With all the sleek maneuverability of a Light Cycle, this electric blue future-box can actually fit each and every woman who saw the 1982 cult classic in back, with room up front for that chick who loved Dune. If vans aren't your thing, go screw yourself Bortwein's also hawking clever non-auto prints such as "River Phoenix" (a body of water in the shape of the fiery bird) and a fedora-wearing bear called "Untouchable California Love" -- sadly, also the name of your '88 Malibu.