For all our superiority in the fields of TV programming, military innovation, and hygiene, Americans eat the Third World's dust when it comes to siestas. Helping to turn the tide: Nap Awareness Month
NAM's the bug-eyed brainchild of a Michigan-based workers' rights group, who successfully lobbied a consortium of Fortune 500 co's to institute mid-afternoon sleepytime. Their heroic struggle's resulted in numerous businesses (from big New York banks to those guys who'll finance your Ford Fiesta for no money down) quietly agreeing to allow workers full twenty-minute nap breaks, beginning in April. Along with political pressure, the reasons for participating are as compelling as they are numerous
Declining afternoon productivity
Dependence on caffeinated drinks -- thereby encouraging the proliferation of Starbucks and with it, the "Venti-fication" of the word "large"
Overpowering jealousy of the bench-drowsing homeless
Protracted toilet-stall retreats to "decompress", creating bathroom bottlenecks and the annual ruination of millions of dollars worth of underwear
The initiative begins next week with a huge campaign nicknamed "Napril", though many companies have remained understandably silent about having signed on. To secure your "rights", simply email NAP -- if your employer's involved, you'll be allowed to nap at work for 20 minutes each day without fear of being awoken/fired. If not, it's back to snoozing in the stairwell for you.