The worst part about getting sick for real isn't the illness -- it's waiting four days to see your doc or, worse, waiting four hours in an ER filled with shrieking monsters clutching their own slippery severed thumbs. To get MD'd quickly without ever leaving your apartment: SickDay. SickDay's a house call doctor service covering Manhattan, with plans to expand to all five boroughs/the world. The gist: you come down with acute symptoms, from dog bites and lacerations to raw throat, fever, or abdominal pain (or even pain you stupidly acquired by raw-dogging)*. Call SD, and within 2-3 hours a doc'll show up ready to diagnose, write a prescription, and, if possible, fill it on the spot. The fee's a flat $250, regardless of duration of the visit or services performed (drawing blood, slapping you awake after term "drawing blood" makes you faint, etc). As for insurance, carriers have been reimbursing up to 80% -- if you're uninsured, well, most Manhattan hospitals would charge you $250 to empty your bedpan. SickDay operates from 6am-11pm, seven days a week, with the average appointment lasting 30-40mins. If you prefer, they'll also visit you at your office -- an invaluable option if you've already spent your allotted sick days laughing, and obliviously ice skating over peoples' thumbs.
*However, for chest pains/shortness of breath, hit the emergency room. Also, consider eating less cheese.