Between ranting about "The Man" and firing your accountant for refusing to classify teeth whitening as a medical expense, April 15 can reduce you to embarrassing fits of frustration. This year, Coors Light turns a negative into a positive: with the unveiling of the Vented Wide Mouth Can, and the declaration of National Venting Day.
The VWMC's an ingenious piece of cano-technology that directs air into the can for an infinitely smoother drinking experience. To celebrate, engage in the following constructive National Venting Day activities, and quit staining your certified mail receipt with man-tears:
- Instead of transferring assets to the Bahamas, gather some friends over a 12-pack, and form a grassroots organization that'll try to rationalize New York's draconian tax laws -- and secure your right to free street gyros every Tuesday.
- Stop complaining about the inevitable, and try talking about your feelings instead. You'll be surprised at how an open discussion can strengthen friendships -- and at how much material you'll gather for the next time you're holding a microphone in front of your friend's family.
- Workshop your complaints into hilarious material -- earning you a lucrative stand-up comedy career, and promotion to a higher tax bracket.
While you're in the midst of all this productive activity, rest assured that every can you and your boys pop open will've been taste-protected by Coors' frost-brewed liner -- because no matter how positive your venting, there's nothing to be done when a delicious beer goes bad.