Queens Wines and Liquors
This week's snowfall has impressed upon you the need to stock up on the essentials: the complete American Ninja series, Progresso Chickarina Soup, and booze. For the latter, make a pilgrimage to Queens Wines & Liquors. In business for 58 years, QW&L's a wonderland of intoxication whose staggering variety makes lesser liquor stores cry malty tears of shame. Wandering The Q's aisles, you'll find everything from a $4800 gold-plated bottle of 1850 cognac to a 99-cent rack filled with yellowing-labeled 1978 vintages (they even have their own Two Buck Chuck -- but because you're not made of money, it's only $1.99). There are 195 vodka options alone (compared to most stores' 30), and gazing upon them all will make your mind spin almost as if you're completely obliterated on...rum. Oddities are interspersed throughout: Hungarian dessert wines, an apple juice/vodka combo called Herman Sherman's Vodka Fizz Bitz, and bottles of Armenian brandy shaped like horses, pistols, swords, and daggers -- so you can actually get in an alcohol-fueled knife fight using your alcohol. To get the most for your money, be sure to pick up a 40-cent copy of the Ridgewood Times-Newsweekly at the deli across the street -- the whole back page is a coupon sheet for QW&L stock. Then take your hooch home, and don't emerge again until American Ninja flips out of his hiding place and fails to see his shadow.