Gaining an expert's knowledge of beer is an enticing prospect, but it's also one that'd require you to attend classes -- and as you learned in college, beer is the natural enemy of classes. Here to teach you all you need to know about suds in the lazy comfort of your own apartment: Civilization of Beer.
CoB is a just-launched educational service headed up by Sam Merritt, former brand manager for Brooklyn Brewery and expert in the nuances of fun juice. To advance your understanding without taxing your atrophied calves, he will set up a class in your domicile for you + nine or more friends/warm bodies/cold bodies with wallets. The category (stouts, porters, near-beers, etc) is up to you. Pick your poison(s) and Sam will bring the beer, glassware, and savvy -- a far more savory bounty than the "realistic dildos" of other home-visiting experts. If you're interested in pairings, Sam will also set up catering. This could involve a gourmet meal prepared by a chef from Tribeca Grill -- or an informal junk food session where Sam teaches you which Belgians best augment the taste of hot dogs, burritos, or mixed fistfuls of pretzel nuggets and jerky ("Hobo's Gold").
Sam's pricing is flexible, depending on what you want, and how sorry he feels for you. He'll also do corporate events: mention CoB to your boss and you'll look like a genius, at least until you fail to show up the day after your own teambuilding exercise -- understandable, since beer is also the natural enemy of work.