The Power Suit Dilemma: to become powerful you must own one, but if you're not already powerful you can't afford to buy one, much less blow off two hours of work to get fitted. The solution: Astor & Black.
A & B is the preeminent custom clothier for men seeking to look as successful as they already pretend they are. They deal only in the highest quality materials, hand-stitched to your disturbingly exact specifications. But instead of using their pedigree as an excuse to gouge, AB offers it up for 50-80% less than both custom and off-the-rack competitors: $500 for a basic-yet-studly suit, $650 for a suit equivalent in quality to a Canali, up to $1300 for threads cut from the same Scabal fabric used for Brioni and Polo's "Purple Label" collection. Dress shirts custom-made with the same love are only $90-$100. Also saving you cash: there's a discount for volume purchases, and all add-ons -- from buffalo-horn buttons to monogrammed crests -- are free. And because you're technically purchasing from A & B's Ohio headquarters, you won't pay a dime in taxes -- leaving you with cash to spend on office luxuries such as "Hang in There" kitty posters.
Best of all, A & B will send an attractive, female fitter to your office any time, day or night, even on extremely short notice. Mention Thrillist, and she'll also present you with a glass of Woodford Reserve, and knock an additional 10% off your bill. Of course, this could sap your career motivation: once you've got women coming to your office to paw your pants legs and pour you bourbon, how much more success do you need?