HUMAXimum Overdrive

You bought DIRECTV service so you could watch every single football game, but now your TV is tethered to a box the size of Tony Siragusa's chafed thighs. But thanks to HUMAX's new LD2060, you can watch T.O.'s temper tantrums from your kitchen, your bedroom, or even the crapper.

The LD2060 is a devilishly handsome 20" flat panel LCD TV with an integrated DIRECTV receiver -- a cutting edge beast that'll still connect to the same DVD/videogames as your current, disgracefully obsolete tube. Set-up's easy: your satellite card slots right in, so there's no need for a set-top box or additional wires. Just get the service, plug it in, slap it on the wall, and spare yourself the risk of eyebrow-singeing amateur electricianry.

Even though football season's started, you still have time to get in on the action -- and if fear of tripping on cables has kept you from signing up for a game package, now you're out of excuses. Arm yourself with the LD2060, and prepare to spend every fall Sunday screaming from the bathroom with a remote in one hand and a foam finger on the other.