A butler can seriously reduce time squandered running errands, getting reservations, and picking your nose, but where to store him? A Red Butler won't need a bedroom, and he'll help you stop worrying about everything else
Red Butler's an online personal assistant serving your most extravagant/boneheaded requests, 24/7 -- like a tireless team of hotel concierges who won't think they're better than you just because you accidentally slept in the lobby. RB's founder's extensive entertainment and business experience (Universal Music, Producers Guild of America, etc) has furnished him with a VIP-loaded Rolodex -- contacts who'll get you into spots where you'd normally have to slip the bouncer a hundo/the tongue. Just tap RB by phone, text, or email anytime, anywhere, for anything -- whether it's left-field bleacher seats close enough to smell Barry Bonds' HGH, or a 2am Fool's Gold Loaf, should you find yourself dangerously undernourished 4hrs after eating a whole brisket.
Membership's additional perk is discounts at select restaurants, clubs, and boutique stores -- at which you can freely stock up on whatever junk you like, since evicting Jeeves cleared out your hall closet for storage.