As an intrepid youth, Choose Your Own Adventure books nurtured your burgeoning autonomy, letting you make judgment calls until your character inevitably got eaten by a Yeti. As an adult whose adventures tend to be liquor-fueled, nurture some drunken agency with a custom wine from Crushpad.
SF-based Crushpad guides your enthusiastic ignorance with their own expert knowledge to create a wine that is uniquely, perhaps horrifyingly, you. Start by answering 30 questions, ranging from preferred varietals, to crush type, on down to label design, so the last thing people see pre-blinding-hangover is your beatific face smiling up from a bottle of "Just Trust Me" Cabernet. Harvesting usually takes place in Aug/Sept at NorCal vineyards, while fermenting goes down at Crushpad's SF HQ -- the whole process takes between 10 and 20 months, unless you specifically ask for the antifreeze special.
Crushpad operates en masse (25 cases or 1 barrel per order), so despite a $15 to $33/bottle price point, it may be worth roping in friends -- a cost-conscious move that'll nonetheless do little to ensure quality decisions, considering they shared your childhood propensity to flip to page 86, then get devoured by a ravenous mountain creature.