Like any obedient robot, GPS will crunch the numbers to find the shortest distance to your destination -- but as with the 60s super-language "Esperanto", what makes sense in theory ends up nothing but sputtering nonsense. Rage against the machine and take these less-traveled streets instead
The Street: Orange Dr. Connects: Southern Hollywood to Hollywood and Highland With the Hollywood Bowl in season, getting to the heart of Hollywood means sharing the street with mid-40s couples on their way to a misty-mustached Hall & Oates reunion. You can't go for that. Take Orange instead.
The Street: La Cienega Connects: Jefferson To Slauson, towards LAX What seems like a parking lot before Jefferson becomes a 55 (in a 35) MPH freeway-esque chute all the way past Slauson -- so instead of eating up your time stalled in traffic on the 405, you'll eat up your time convincing a cop that the pool of panic sweat at your feet is actually freshly-broken water, and that despite your mannish features, at least one man found you ravishing last November
The Street: Venice Way Connects: Venice to the beach Running parallel to Venice Blvd, this mile-long beach-day shortcut saves you almost 20 minutes of parking-hunting traffic. By the time those suckers reach the water, you'll already be old friends with that bulldog who rides the skateboard.
The Street: Chandler Connects: East Valley to Mid Valley A trip over the hill can be hell if your GPS insists you crawl down mean-and-lean Ventura. Push a bit further north, and you'll find wide lanes in both directions and fewer stoplights, the only drawback being a depressing lack of Jamba Juices
The Street: Martel/Hauser Connects: Mid-Wilshire to Hollywood The lack of stop signs/lights on this stretch of streets makes the stop-start jaunt between Pico and Santa Monica breezy. As if that weren't enough, "Hauser" is also the name of Arnold Schwarzennegger's character in Total Recall. Or is it?
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