Repeating "yes", "no", "4", and "Look for me in the shadows" to a chipper customer service robot makes the already painful call to your bank/airline/insurance agency unbearable. To get a human on the horn, unleash a machine of your own: Bringo
Conceived during a distress call to the creator's cable company, Bringo's like a running back who'll dodge annoying phone-prompt tacklers to score you a conversation with an actual person (not necessarily a helpful person, but one with a pulse nonetheless). Just choose from the site's list of 400+ companies, and enter your phone number. You'll get two callbacks, the first a confirmation request from Bringo's own cheery, Southern-twanged 'bot, the second from a customer service rep already on the line waiting to hear your feeble argument for why MasterCard owes you a pony
Since Bringo constantly updates their algorithms with user feedback, even if "some menu options have changed" the whole process should take less than a minute -- during which time you can reflect on the machine-on-machine war you've initiated, and save threats like "Look for me in the shadows" for your pony.