Golden Tee TV Game

To be a truly successful barfly, you must master a wide range of tavern game skills -- but unfortunately, this can suck your laundry fund dry, leaving you smelling like a truly successful barfly. Get your beer-addled virtual green time without blowing all your quarters, with the Golden Tee TV Game

The plug-and-play GTTVG connects stupid-easily through your TV's AV inputs. Like its quarter-gulping brother, it also has a trackball for precise swing control, which'll be further enhanced by your apartment's relatively modest selection of tap beers. For an insider hint, game narrator/pro golfer Peter Jacobson has divulged his disturbingly specific strategy: "A lot of guys use the double-thumb method to rapidly flick the trackball, but I prefer to pull it all the way back with one thumb so I have a backswing and a forward swing." (Conveniently, this tactic also works for disciplining any children/pets who interfere with your training.

If you're worried your at-home achievements'll go unheralded, don't: the system comes with an Ambassador Card that can be taken to any GT coin-op to upload your scores and track game progress. Once you've dropped off your stats, you can show off your one-thumbed flicking prowess before moving on to a bar game there's thankfully no home edition for: Photohunt, Hunks edition.