Anonymous Web Card

Few things are as magical as the soft glow of smut emanating from a computer monitor -- but sadly, identity thieves and spam artists are quick to take advantage of your happiness, while your girlfriend is constantly combing your statement for salacious charges. Luckily, the geniuses at PPPcard have a solution: a pre-paid card valid on over 100 sites, that'll protect your finances and anonymity. Here's how it works:

  • Go to and purchase online or use the site's handy store locator. If the nearest outlet's where you usually buy cigarettes or Ruffles, you'll know to wear a disguise.
  • The cards come in $5 denominations up to $50, great for a one-time session, or a year of gratification in the comfort of your bedroom, office, or public library.
  • Type in the 12-digit activation code, light the scented candles, put on your best smock, and enjoy.

PPPcard is constantly adding more sites, so if you don't find the weird derivation you crave, be patient, girl-on-ham fetishists. And renaissance degenerates are in luck: in the next six months, there are plans to broaden PPP's menu to include both gambling and dating services, ensuring that all angles of your shady little private world remain that way.