Le Labo Fragrances

Creatures great and small find their mates with identifying odors, but washing yourself with Acqua Di Gio won't set you apart from the Stella-drinking herd. Set yourself apart with a microcraft scent from Le Labo. Based in the cornucopia of smells that is New York City's SoHo, Labo's store is more Chem 101 than frilly boutique, with shelves crowded by beakers, graduated cylinders, and vials of raw materials from France. Each bottle packs 15-30% fragrance content (versus the 3% of most colognes) -- and they're all mixed to order by on-site chemists (apparently disillusioned with the futility of cancer research/developing the perfect peanut-butter-flavored gum). Among the manly formulas:

  • Bergamote 22 (22 referring to the number of ingredients involved): a fiery/earthy spritz with a bittersweet finish, not unlike the movie Rudy
  • Vetiver 46: the most masculine of all Labo mixes, sure to get you a date with any woman genetically predisposed to mating with pepper, cedar, or labdanum
  • Rose 31: 31% of the time, it works every time

Order one, and your concoction will come hand-bottled, and personalized with your name, or the word "fungicide" if your roommate tends to abuse your toiletries. Now with your olfactory personality mapped, you can return to showering and peeing into toilets.