BluBlockers

With summer in full swing, sunglasses are your best friend. Your best source for stylish shades? The sort-of-distant past: Welcome back, BluBlockers. A late 80s infomercial favorite, BB's introduced high-haired beachgoers to the retina-saving science of polarized lenses. Thanks to their multi-layer lens design, 'Blockers filter out scattered and reflected light, so wearers can see clearly while driving into a blinding sunset, or distinguish between sand bars, tiger sharks, and dead bodies in sun-glared water. As for fashion-cred, BB's Original Aviator Pola shames overpriced, retro-chic designer offerings, which are really just BluBlocker knockoffs anyway. In a far more heartfelt way, Pola's harken back to the halcyon days when TransAms ruled the highways and mustaches carried magic. No matter which frame style you choose, BB's affordability makes them the perfect bulk purchase, a wise move given the number of shades you'll lose while nude parasailing this summer. Best of all, internet technology means you no longer have to waste late nights waiting for a BB commercial -- so you can spend your insomniac TV time hoping for a chance to buy a Juice Tiger.