Subordinate only to his needs for affection and cased meats, a man's dominion must include a favorite chair. Make yours the Aviar Rocker.
Chicago furniture Mecca Chiasso is renowned among furniture fetishists for skillful mash-ups of taut modernity and obese stuffing -- even their hardest-edged couch reveals itself to be a pillowy mass of love. Just such a balance is the Aviar Rocker, a spacious throne of dense, ass-cupping foam outfitted with chromed arms that wrap underneath. The Aviar's bottom is gently curved, ensuring relaxed teetering with none of the wild, unpredictable lurching responsible for so many porch tragedies/whittling-related rocking chair deaths. And to appease your landlord, the metal rails are sheathed in protective rubber, at once keeping the chair in place and protecting the integrity of your bubbling linoleum floor.
The sad irony is that a chair this dangerously soothing only comes in beige -- a stain-prone color that will bear the messy brunt of your cased meats, and your "affection".