When you get a custom suit, you go to a tailor, let him feel your junk, and return home with...a suit. For a ballsier custom look, hook up with the ladies at Off Ramp designs. Based in Echo Park, Off Ramp personalizes every garment they sell with ubiquitous Americana imagery -- power lines, leafless trees, telephone poles, etc -- as well as iconography of the Eastside, like lotus flowers, and police helicopters. The search for your perfect jacket/sweatshirt/tux/polo, tie/suit/baseball cap starts with a conversation covering what style you're looking for: ideal fabrics, color preferences, your measurements (i.e., 36-inch waist), and your real measurements (i.e., 56-inch waist). They then scour thrift shops and vintage stores for the ideal piece of clothing, mock up the design they plan on emblazoning it with, and email you a digital copy for approval. Assuming you don't return it smeared with e-feces, they then sew, paint, embroider, stencil, and silk-screen your way to glory. The costs are surprisingly reasonable (a jacket's usually about $130, cowboy shirts are $75, ties are $24), and turn-around's only two to six weeks -- meaning you're only a few weekends away from a blazer imaged up with your previous tailor taking lascivious liberties with your manhood.