Though contemporary art lends class to even the filthiest hovel, hanging a canvas plastered with yarn and feces might offend your friends -- and your nose. For modern art that's both provocative and bitchin', go with a TV-inspired piece from Isabel Samaras. Nurtured by TV's pacifying glow, SF-based Samaras makes Botticelli-meets-TV-Land works as conversation-worthy as they are pleasingly lewd. Her obsessions with Gilligan's Island, Star Trek, and boobs have manifested themselves in sensational nudes (Catwoman, Morticia, and Uhura, among others) -- works worthy of your teenaged dad's wettest of dreams. Though many of the mind-blowing mixes of old-school painting and '60s TV staples have already been sold, more are on the way. Buy one now -- it'll look perfect between your abstractionist watercolor inspired by a Kenyan fertility ritual and that "Beers I Learned in College" poster.