Food & Drink

STK

Done wrong, flashy restaurants of the enormous variety die prompt, heartily mocked deaths. Done right, they offer raucous fun. STK, officially opening today in the Meatpacking, looks like they've gotten it right. Shorthand (or possibly Czech) for steak, STK's a hyper-designed, two-story behemoth intent on providing guests a seamless, self-contained evening: drinking, then eating, then drinking a lot more. To ensure everyone has a good time, they've hedged their bets, with: Seating options: Eat at either bar, or on the long, Rorschach-shaped lounge bed. The front's got window-side tables for 2s and 4s, while the back booths seat 2-10. Ingeniously, the two-top booths are designed so you sit side-by-side -- great for grabby dates, Siamese twins, and grabby Siamese twins. Bisexual décor: Lush orchid arrangements amidst the banquettes are fiendishly countered by a wall of three-foot steer horns bristling over the bar. It's super creepy.Dining options: Not-steak dishes include the Hudson Valley Duck Breast and the Surf, Turf & Earth (tuna/black truffle/foie gras). The steak itself tops out with the $74 34oz T-bone, but there's also a $18 6oz skirt -- perfect for the poor/gastric-banded.For more private raucous fun, grab 20-40 friends and reserve a classily minimal upstairs party room*. Either way, STK will provide you all you need for your ridiculous good time. Except vowels. *The best sports an alligator skin table and looks exactly like where Nicholson fries the mustachioed mobster in Batman.