Until recently, when Thrillist thought of the pain, stank and general grossness that results from flesh-against-flesh friction, we'd get so horribly depressed that we'd strip down, chug grain alcohol and cry hysterically. Fortunately for our roommates, we've discovered Friction Zone, a new, super-potent athletic cream from Brave Soldier.
From what we understand, Brave Soldier was founded by clinically insane mountain bikers. These lunatics designed Friction Zone for seriously beastly outdoor activities, e.g. triathlons, and naked bullriding. Put simply, if Gold Bond and Friction Zone were locked in a cell together, Friction Zone would make Gold Bond its prison ho.
We know what you're thinking: "I am a fat, lazy bastard who enjoys eating pre-made frosting right out of the tub. Why would I need a product like Friction Zone?" If you're anything like Thrillist, though, you're probably dealing with a lot more friction than you think.