Thrillist believes in letting the world know what's ours. Unfortunately, standing constant vigil over our possessions can get tiring; and, while the stench of our pee is bio-chemically unique, most people just don't have the skills to differentiate it from their own. Searing our mark with a branding iron, on the other hand, is unmistakable, permanent, and most importantly, fun. To secure your own customized branding iron, Thrillist suggests commissioning one from Ranch Irons, specialists in the art of personalized property management.
For $199 or less, Ranch Irons can implement virtually any design into a stainless steel branding head: Your name. Your mom. Even a depiction of Scott Baio during a moment of deep, unguarded sadness. Once you settle on your design, you can accumulate possessions comfortably, secure in the knowledge that your brand will notify borrowers and thieves of the certainty of bloody retribution.
Thrillist ordered a "Scowling Mr. T" brand. We use it to: