G.O.A.T. Food

The ultimate snack food would tread a razor's edge between the fat-matic deliciousness of candy and the healthiness of possibly-penis-shrinking muscle supplements. Fitting that bill: Muhammad Ali's G.O.A.T. Food

Named after his self-effacing moniker ("The Greatest of All Time"), Muhammad's snack line was developed to combat fat -- minus the salmonella exposure and congealed grease trays of his Rumble in the Jungle opponent's grills. Each of the 10 G.O.A.T. snacks is shockingly non-health-food-y tasting, from the Fruity Pepples-like Apple Punch Rumble bars to the trail-mixified tacos of Slammin' Salsa Shuffle. For some light reading as you munch, the packaging comes emblazoned with Ali's famously catchy sayings, putting you at risk of blurting out "I'm on everybody's lips!" to confused, secretly intrigued male coworkers

It's wholly possible to ignore G.O.A.T.'s nutritional mission, but despite each serving being less than 150 calories, the stuff actually packs scads of vitamins, calcium, and other necessary crap. In honor of Ali's 65th b-day, G.O.A.T. hits select shelves today -- beginning with college campuses (Penn, Yale, Ohio State, Georgia Tech, and Texas A&M) before trickling down to the convenience stores preferred by dropouts, the stoned, and guys like you, desperate for an afternoon kick in the goat ass.