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Fool's Gold Loaf

Today's the anniversary of Elvis Presley's death, so celebrate by glutting yourself on his favorite sandwich: the Fool's Gold Loaf

The house specialty of the now defunct Colorado Gold Mine Company restaurant, legend has it Elvis flew from Memphis to Denver late one night just to down one of these 42,000-calorie monsters. Despite the added weight, the plane made it back

Wise men say only fools rush in to a sandwich like this, but you can't help risking a massive coronary to try it

Cooking: Slather the butter all over the loaf's entire exterior surface. Then toss it onto a baking sheet in a 350-degree oven for around 15 minutes or until browned. Meanwhile, fry the bacon -- lean, for "health" purposes

Assembly: Slice the loaf lengthwise, then hollow it out, for ample room to glob on the entire jars of peanut butter and jelly. Carefully arrange the bacon slices over the PB&J (presentation is everything). Close the loaf, and prepare yourself for kingly transcendence

Devouring the FGL in one sitting will bring you that much closer to embodying the true essence of Elvis: bloated, lifeless, and slumped over a toilet.