Here Comes Santa Balls

There's no more beloved holiday icon than The Drunken Santa. If you ever dreamt of stepping into those errantly stumbling boots, here's your chance: It's SantaCon time."Santarchy" began in '94 as a way for a few bored college guys to protest the Holidays but has evolved into a Zapatista-like revolution of thousands of Kringled-up lushes. SantaCon 2006 kicked off last week in Boulder, and during the rest of the month every major city in the US and Canada will play host to its hoodlum-ry. To get involved, join your local chapter's mailing list. Exact meet-up specifics are kept under wraps until day-of, when they're posted on the site or blasted in an email (like Flash mobs). Once assembled, the Jolly Legion's fun generally includes naughty caroling, suggestive, pedestrian-startling Santa dancing, and post-prank binge drinking, but sometimes things have spiraled hilariously out of control:Dec, 1995, San Francisco: The year-old Santarchists swipe a bottle of vodka off a Fairmont Hotel debutante party, pound it, then flee from the police in their Santa bus, barfing all the way. Dec, 2005, Tulsa: Bicycling Clauses ride head-on into rush hour traffic, resulting in massive congestion and one unruly Santa arrest.Dec, 2005, Auckland, NZ: Kiwi St Nicks stage a protest of Christmas' commercialism, which of course instantly devolves into looting.If this seems it might get too lawless for your tastes, you can always just show up and watch, but keep your head on a swivel -- nothing's worse than getting stomped by a drunk, ornery collection of men in fake beards.