Show Off Your Ski Package

Skiing with the guys is an incredibly sporty, chili-fueled affair, but working out all the logistics can be tougher than negotiating a slope littered with flaming dog skulls. But thanks to the Teton Lodge's big-swinging, super affordable skiesta package, all you have to worry about is finding your Garfield snow pants

You and four buddies will bunk up at the opulent mountain palace for five nights of ski in/ski out madness. You'll also get four days of lift tickets at the adjacent Jackson Hole Resort, home of some of the country's best runs and bowls, with options for everyone from seasoned carvers to those who just enjoy standing atop giant snow-covered breasts. And once you're completely exhausted and maimed, you'll crash in your kingly three-room, two-story suite, which includes

  • Fully-equipped stainless steel kitchen with a fridge chilling a case of Fat Tire beer.
  • Giant granite bathrooms with whirlpool tubs, perfect for soaking your JHole-battered a-hole.
  • Easy access to the lodge's game-focused grill (deers and steers), and ski lounge bar, plus a comped daily breakfast buffet at the downstairs lodge: bacon, eggs, potatoes, sausage (no stale coffee and mini-muffins here.)

For an additional fee, you can sub out a day on the lifts for one spent Heli-Skiing the shapely Tetons, cutting up virgin terrain, with no one but your buddies and hibernating marmots to hear you scream. The only potential drawback to this hijinx-filled snow fandango, is that if somebody does do a Better Off Dead-style tumble down the mountain, you're back to more meddlesome planning: casket, flowers, contacting their parents...