Keep Your Rep Intact

If you've ever engaged in any potentially humiliating activities, there's a good chance nosy employers or potential girlfriends can easily dig them up online -- blackballing you from ever breaking into their jobs/pants. Sterilize your rep with

RD is a brand new subscription service that specializes in locating and burying e-skeletons. First, RD's expert research team will ferret out everything from the blogs/message boards you've mouthed-off on, to inappropriately published emails/IM conversations, and even social networks where you foolishly admitted to being into "chicks in moose costumes". Then for an additional $30 per item, RD will set about getting it disappeared -- via legal savvy, online wizardry, and chillingly sophisticated software -- and you only pay once the job gets done. Even without a full-service subscription, if you know about specific blackmail bait, you can still take advantage of their "means of operation": $60 will get that horrifying spring break "wet boxers" contest picture out of your life forever

There are limitations to what they can expunge, so if you were once treasurer of a Klan faction or willingly wrote an op-ed piece titled "Why Cannibalistic Infanticide Is Good For Our Country", RD probably won't be able to help you. But as G.I. Joe once opined, knowing is half the battle, and the sooner you find out about your nefarious online background, the better you'll be at keeping your job (and pants) prospects ignorantly plentiful.