Feeding girlfriends can be so expensive, many men aren't left with enough cash to cheat on them properly. To preserve your "Strange Chick Humping Fund", take your girlfriend to one of the Pepes, five blessedly cheap Italian kitchens scattered across The City.
At any Pepe you'll find salads, paninis and pastas, all in portions that won't leave her eying your leg with a nonsexual hunger. Dinner for two costs under $40, including a $14 bottle of wine -- or, after eight months of dating, "the stuff that makes me still want to sleep with you".
Pepe's counter service means your girlfriend will never see the bill, or discover how much you're funneling toward other activities, like breeding the mutant rooster that will change the face of cockfighting forever.
Conveniently, there's a Pepe near you: