While tearing up Wall Street in the 80s, Thrillist coped with our soul crushing schedules by murdering call-girls and colleagues with names like Luis Carruthers. Unfortunately, management tends to frown on stress-related killing, making a nice beer buzz a realistic alternative. We suggest hitting the morning happy hour at Jeremy's Ale House, a bra-lined dockworkers hangout in the South Street Seaport.
Jeremy's "Eye Opener" runs from 8-10am -- the perfect start time, as drinking any earlier might signify some sort of an alcohol problem. Beers are half off and are served in awe-inspiring 32oz Styrofoam cups, filled to the rim with any brew on tap. Prices start at $1.75 and don't go up much higher. Screw coffee. That's one full quart of cold, delicious sanity, all taken down before your sniveling co-workers have puckered up for their first ass-kiss of the day.
Since you're probably very busy playing "Freecell", Thrillist has put together your personal "Jeremy's Consumption Chart" to help guage your corporate insubordination: