Custom Toothpick Holder

Toothpicks are a great on-the-go option for keeping your chompers debris-free, but left loose in your pockets, they'll break, collect lint, or stab your groiny parts. Keep both you and your sticks safe, with a custom-made holder

Handcrafted by 84-year-old woodturner Marge Felder, these keepers come in eight different materials, including maple, spalted maple, or the cannibal-sounding Putumuju. The wood encases a brass tube, which has a screw-top with a key chain link at the base. Marge also offers different-sized tubes for other objects like pills and emergency cash. She's even encouraged bereaved buyers to use her larger models for stashing the ashes of their loved ones

Though Marge creates each holder with her own withered hands, she promises a quick turn-around time (usually under a week). So in the meantime, mind those loose TPs -- or a fluky testicular impalement could put you at the bottom of somebody else's holder for all eternity.