Convincing a girl to come home with you is only half the battle, as whiskey-unit can easily derail pants-free hijinx. Say goodbye to floppy-necked turtles, thanks to The Body Perfect's new 6th Gear.
6G is a concentrated water-based lubricant designed to awaken stubborn puds less masterful with liquor than your liver. The lube moisturizes (which is very nice), but it offers additional punch by inducing a highly pleasing man-tingle. The sensation's a product of yohimbe, saw palmetto, and Copsicum fruit -- a far classier cornucopia of botanicals than anything your spam folder has to offer.
Other benefits include:
Fast Acting/Long-lasting: Unlike lesser pump-jumps, 6G will make you semi-pole in no time. The tingle lasts 4hrs -- because three would be too short and five would be too long.
Economical: It only takes a few drops to oil the pistons, allowing you to save money for other mood-enhancing items like candles, black lights, or gilded reliquaries containing real bits of Barry White.
Stain-Free: You'll never fear inquisitions regarding crud on your sheets, couch, or roommate's monogrammed bath towels.
And 6G isn't just for sharing with the ladies: Even on sloppy nights where you haven't brought anyone home, at least your hand is guaranteed to not spend another night pouting and preparing to spread hurtful rumors about you the next day.