Friday's here, so it's time to rundown what's hot and what's not. Go live your weekend like an unchained Viking.
Hot: Cheerleader Ninjas DVD
$7.99 at CdUniverse.com
The classic B-movie makes its long-awaited DVD debut. For anyone who's ever been spurned by cheerleaders -- or ninjas -- this is the film you've been waiting for your whole life.
$650 at Teddy-Babes.com
No man should ever spend $650 on a plush toy, even if it is a cuddly, four-and-a-half-foot female model you can have tender, stuffed-animal sex with. $600, maybe.
Hot: Self-stirring Coffee Mug
$29.95 for 2 at Hammacher.com
Never use your finger as a stirrer again with this propellor-equipped mug. With just a flick of a button, you'll have your milk, sugar, and hot liquid of choice spiraling together in a creamy, caffeinated tornado.
Not: Self-stirring Coffee Cake in Mug
As lofty a dream as it is to drink cake, the propellor isn't strong enough to liquefy it.
Hot: Gentlemen's Ball Scratcher
$15.95 at EpartyUnlimited.com
This 9-inch, pewter scratcher is ideal for when it's best to keep your hand out of your pants.
Gentleman's Uni-Ball Scratching
Available at UniBall.com
A great pen, but scrotally useless, as the ink gets all over your pants and the pointy tip makes it dangerous.