PopQuiz #1 - Results
1. You've been set up. The least you can do is:
A. not wear sweats (24%) B. not leer at other women (33%) C. not hit the bathroom when the bill arrives (17%) D. not show up with a different woman, citing an unavoidable scheduling conflict (26%)
2. Your primary concern when choosing a date spot is:
A. bang for your buck (38%) B. proximity to your apartment (34%) C. length of tablecloths (6%) D. likelihood that your girlfriend will walk in and ruin everything (22%)
Interesting fact: almost a quarter of you are cheating on your girlfriends.
3. When ordering the wine, your first thought is:
A. "fish or meat?" (37%) B. "what's the second cheapest?" (44%) C. "which one best combines robust bouquet with mellow tannins?" (10%) D. "will it sting when it's thrown in my face?" (10%)
Note: Sutter Home can cause temporary blindness.
4. Drinking should be limited to:
A. one more than she's having (30%) B. one short of torpedoing sexual performance (55%) C. one past torpedoing sexual performance (10%) D. sparkling water: alcohol lowers inhibitions and you don't want to rush into things. You've been hurt before (5%)
So our readership is 95% alcoholics, 5% bedwetting mama's boys.
5. If you spend __ on your date, intercourse is a given.
A. $50 (16%) B. $75 (46%) C. $0.75 (9%) D. rates vary from one escort service to the next (28%)
6. The best dates are the ones that end with:
A. a deep and nuanced understanding of her views (15%) B. a deep and nuanced understanding of her butt (39%) C. only a slight fear of pregnancy (37%) D. escaping her apartment with a stack of DVDs (9%)
If she's got the Criterion Collection edition of Tango & Cash, the correct answer was D.
7. On average, how long will you wait for things to "get physical"?
A. one date (20%) B. two dates (56%) C. through the appetizers (20%) D. until you know she's the one (5%)
"Until you know she's the one" garnered 5%, confirming our findings from question #4.
8. Once you seal the deal, her chances of seeing you again are:
A. far better (51%) B. far worse (22%) C. nonexistent (8%) D. determined by your ability to blend into the shadows (18%)
Girls, it's official: Your mothers lied to you. If you want men to respect you, sleep with them post-haste.