The results for our Dating PopQuiz are in and, quite frankly, they're alarming. After careful analysis at The Thrillist Labs, several interesting trends emerged:
You are cheap. For instance, when choosing a date spot, 38% of you said your main concern was "bang for your buck", while 44% said that, when ordering wine, your first thought was "what's the second cheapest?" Further, 46% of you believe that spending a mere $75 on your date is enough to guarantee sexual activity. We acknowledge that a $75 outlay could ensure success, provided every cent goes toward overproof vodka.
You are drunks. 55% of you routinely consume "one drink short of torpedoing sexual performance". What's curious is that only 10% admit to consuming "one drink past torpedoing sexual performance". Such a huge discrepancy leads us to believe that many of you in the first category were too drunk to realize that you'd been terrible disappointments in bed.
You cannot be trusted. 51% of you said her chances of seeing you again were "far better" following sex. You're obviously hoping that skewing our poll results with blatant lies will help you end the terrible slump you're in. Maybe the women you forward this to will be more gullible, but we're not buying it.
Click the link below for the full results. Hopefully poring over them during a night of tortured introspection will be enough to get your lives back on track.