Night Hotel

Like the rainbow-assed baboon, boutique hotels rely on showy features to attract attention. The soon-to-grand-open Night Hotel's guilty of the same, except they also provide something valuable: innovative beverage opportunities.

Decorated entirely in black and white, Night's the vision of Vikram Chatwal -- a hotel heir unfairly dismissed as a dilettante for incessantly humping models and buying $200,000 tickets to outer space*. The rooms are miniature crashpads, but they're well appointed with workstations, plasmas, and BOSE sound systems. Accompanying Nanos can be borrowed at the front desk -- convenient if you forgot yours, or are bored with stealing towels

But while Vikram was dreaming of sipping Tang in the ionosphere, designer Mark Zeff and F&B manager Alex Freij were arranging the kernel of Night's ingenuity -- the drinking

The Lobby: An ornate liquor cabinet features high-end spirits starting at $40 a glass

The Rooms: Thanks to a hotel liquor license optimized for alcoholics, you can supplement your minibar with room service bottles, 24/7

The Lounge: Offers brandy flights, two exclusive beers from Brooklyn's Six Points Brewery, and "1/2 bottle service" -- so even the friendless can experience the joys of pouring their own cocktails. The Night won't officially unveil itself 'til early April, but they're already renting rooms and serving drinks. Don't be dissuaded by Chatwal's notoriety: with such creative options for inebriation, it'd be worth a visit even if it were run by a dazzlingly-rumped monkey.

*On Richard Branson's "Virgin Galactic" passenger shuttle.