Video Game Theater

As a kid, when a movie cut from a couple falling into bed to scenes of rockets exploding, you'd just be jealous their moms bought them fireworks. Having since learned better, it's now time for further scarring disillusionment at the debut screening of Video Game Theater

A never-before-seen TV show from the demented pervs behind Crank Yankers and The Jimmy Kimmel Show, Video Game Theater is a hilariously low-fi, Team America-esque puppet series about the filthy underbelly of the video games whose dusty cartridge slots you once spent lonely days blowing clean. The free screening will showcase 13 six-minute episodes following the not-safe-for-Atari private lives of once-beloved 8-bit characters like

  • Laura Croft: a breast-baring sorority sister prone to geek-porn pillowfights
  • Rick Joust: the #1 Space Knight, he's tormented by a forbidden love for his opposing jouster, who at his merest touch would wither into a point-rich egg
  • Frogger: a much-despised international terrorist -- like a log-hopping, car-avoiding, more articulate Tim McVeigh

To pre-preview the action, watch the pilot episode, which features Pac Man as an abusive pill popper. Get to The Knitting Factory to learn the rest of his saga, which'll leave you both amused and upset that as an innocent youth, you missed his now-obvious cries for help