Rio de Janeiro-based churrascaria Porcao opened its doors yesterday on Park Avenue South. Some would call the arrival of another sword-meat purveyor redundant. We say: If you cherish the churrascaria as an opportunity to eat more meat, what could be better than more more meat?
Porcao's been decimating animal populations since 1975, along the way building a carnivorous empire of 15 eateries that stretches from Miami to Milan. The 12,000 square foot New York location sports an enormous bar, 240 seats, and a 60-70 person private room perfect for holding an intervention for a well-liked anorexic
Porcao's rodizio-style (unlimited meats on swords) service and kingly 40-item appetizer/salad buffet are similar to what you'll find at its existing upscale competitors. However, unlike some inferior churrascarias, which offer an insufficient 10-15 kinds of meat, Porcao serves up 18 selections, including
Costela de boi - Beef ribAlcatra - Top sirloin buttPicanha - Top sirloin coulotteChuleta - Ribeye steakFraldinha - Flank steakChurrasco - Skirt steakFilet mignon com baicon - Filet mignon with baconCostela de porco - Pork ribsLombo de porco - Boneless pork loinPeru com baicon - Boneless turkey breast with baconCoracao de galinha - Chicken heartCordeiro - Boneless leg of lambCostela de carneiro - Lamb chopFrango - Chicken thighsPeito de frango - Chicken breastLinguica Calabresa - Calabresa sausageLinguica Toscana - Toscana sausageSalmao - Salmon (for those of you getting this email by accident)
According to our meat-iorologist's projections, Porcao represents the beginning of a new meatwave that will culminate in Starbucks-esque saturation by 2017, with meateries on virtually every block in Manhattan. At this point, we predict the world's supply of nonhuman flesh will run dangerously low, leaving Porcao's waiters to fend off the ravenous hordes with their now naked meatswords.