18-in-1 Soap

You think that brushing your teeth while peeing makes you the master of bathroom efficiency. But until you've tried Dr. Bronner's "18-in-1" organic liquid soap, you're still a rank amateur

Dr. Emanuel Bronner (1908-1997) preached that everything in the universe flows from one source; however, instead of building a church like a run-of-the-mill cult leader, he evidenced his belief with a multipurpose, vegetable oil-based soap. He might have been clinically insane*, but his invention proved brilliant: besides "dissolving sluggishness and sloth of spirit", you can use Dr. B's to cleanse your skin, wash your hair, and even brush your teeth (though the website cautions that more than a few drops could leave you "foaming at the mouth" like a rabid badger).

The value of a toiletry that can freshen your soul and your grundle is beyond debate. But what's truly amazing is that despite being gentle enough for your mouth, armpits, and bell-end, this "magic" liquid also subs as a detergent. One so powerful, you can use it to do your dishes, or your laundry -- which, if worn into the shower, won't even have to be removed before sudsing up

18-in-1's bottle enumerates only five of the soap's uses (no doubt because listing the rest would violate roughly 13 FDA regulations). But further research uncovered the soap's potential as a mouthwash, massage oil, and facial pack, as well as its ability to clean dentures, pets, and cars. Knowing that so much can be accomplished simultaneously, your toothbrush/tinkle combo should now feel contemptibly soft

*He was: in the '40s, he was confined to a mental hospital -- from which he escaped, three times.