Food & Drink

Jack's Luxury Oyster Bar

Even though it'll make you feel like a eunuch, it's already time to make a dinner reservation for Valentines Day, i.e., the night when you must take your girlfriend out or start looking for a new one. Problem is, every opportunistic restaurant in town shakes you down with a "holiday" tasting menu: dainty portions your date will consider romantic, but you'll just see as overpriced and despicably scanty. If you're looking to indulge your woman and your stomach, take them both to Jack's Luxury Oyster Bar.

Jack's renowned prix fixe changes monthly, but you're guaranteed fresh fish, lobster, and "fruit of the sea" such as squid, scallops, shrimp, caviar, and Billy Ocean. Rounding out this formidable lineup will be a special to-be-determined V-Day item, but Jack's still won't be ruthlessly boosting their everyday price. Best of all, their portions are always extremely generous, so your post-meal lovemaking won't be interrupted by desperate gurgling from your neglected belly.

Jack's has two levels, but the 12-seat upstairs is optimal: intimate space, fireplace, candlelight, all that crap. Since this miniscule restaurant has already started reserving tables for the 14th, we suggest calling immediately. Otherwise, you'll either end up getting gouged on negligible nourishment at a more unscrupulous joint, or sitting at home, listlessly watching NBA highlights and munching on a soggy carton of McLoneliness.