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Balla Powder

Published On 01/17/2006 Published On 01/17/2006

Until now, when it came to freshening up your scrotum, your options had been limited to baby powder (the scent of poopy infants and old women) or Gold Bond -- whose medicated fumes evoke a prison groin delousing. If you're tired of simply masking one mung with another, try Balla, the goolie talc for the discriminating man-about-town. Balla's talcum-based formula packs the same absorbent power as powders marketed towards athletic types, but it's infused with a vastly more sophisticated, vaguely floral scent the makers call "Desert Nomad" -- not particularly apt since presumably chafing saddles and limited shower access give desert nomads some of the most malodorous crotch-stank on the planet. Nonetheless, we were intrigued. We obtained a canister of Balla, then gave it a two-part test: we confirmed its effectiveness, then poured a mound in our hand and tasted it. Now, we're not only satisfied that the stuff accomplishes its intended purpose; but also that, should you present a lady with your Balla'd package, the taste of the powder won't turn her off oral sex forever. So dust on some Balla tonight, and step out confident that if your romantic success is sabotaged, it won't be due to gamy junk.

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